Lovleigh

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow

Yesterday, I was driving home from the grocery store feeling pretty pleased with myself for all that I’d accomplished from 8AM until 1:30.  I got this self-congratulating smile, I’m sure, even though I was alone in my car.  Things were feeling put together and perfect when I realized I was about to drive right on past the house that Jay and I were (and still hope) to buy. To continue the perfection of the moment, my brain re-routed me into the drive way (as I passed by), unloaded the groceries, and began making the chili in my very own kitchen.  I used my very own knives to chop the onion, and the spicy smells permeated my very own living room, and I wore my own slippers on my own floor. As I hummed to myself over the stove, I knew that no one but Jay would be coming home any time soon to disturb my imaginary contentment.  

Instead, I drove into my parent’s house, used all their stuff, and made chili.  My dad promptly came home from work as I browned the meat- he got out early- and talked my ear off the entire time.  

But I’m pretty lucky to be able to talk to my dad and that he still allows his 24 year old daughter to live there and use his stuff and come and go as I please.  So tonight, I’ll take my chili with me and Rachel and we’ll drive off to Traverse city for the weekend.  As great as it would feel to depart from my own drive-way, I’ll take any drive way that leads me to people I love.  And I shall try harder not to be so focused on how great the future will be… someday.  Because I only have today. 

And today, I’m going to Traverse with my best friend and her future child all wrapped up inside her to sit in a cabin all weekend, eat good food, and make pretty things.  That child is going to be loved, and it’s going to have promising drive-ways that lead to good things, and great parents who let it stay home as long as it needs to no matter how much it wants to be on its own.